cultural differences

Let me preface this post by saying that I’m TOTALLY fascinated by cultural differences. Last Fall, I moved back to the US after living in the UK for 8 years. During that time, I traveled and worked in a ton of different countries and also went to a grad school where 30% of the students were American, 12% were British and the rest were from all over the world. Moving back to the US was actually reverse culture shock for me, and there are still some things (like free refills on drinks at restaurants – with ice – score!) that I’m getting used to.

Seeing cultural differences on a geographic level gave me much more appreciation for cultural differences on a personal level. What I mean by this is that you and I may have grown up next door to one another, but your family situation, the way in which you were raised, the things you did on the weekends, the particular vocabulary and inside jokes that were a natural part of your household may seem totally foreign to me – and mine to you. In the end, it’s all a matter of cultural context.

I love the “Different Points of Value” ads by HSBC bank, which really hammer this point home:

I’ve been pondering a lot lately about why people are so amazingly judgmental when it comes to weddings. One person’s dream wedding is another person’s tacky nightmare. In the end, I think it all comes down cultural context. The fact that, while growing up, you learn that “this is the way this is done” and “this is how we do things around here.” But so does the person sitting next to you. You think your ways are Normal and Right, but so does your neighbor. Kinda cool and interesting, huh?

So when I saw this article in the New York Times about the rise of McWeddings in Hong Kong, I totally had to smile. Oh yes, you heard me right – McWeddings, as in weddings taking place at McDonalds. Now I know that your first gut reaction is probably: Seriously? Ew. How tacky! (BTW – I’d highly recommend you read OffBeatBride’s mantra about tacky weddings when you have a chance.)

Instead, I actually love this article! And what I like most is that instead of screaming bloody tack-a-rama, the journalist goes on to explain that, in the context of Hong Kong culture, a wedding at McDonald’s has entirely different connotations and cultural context then it would have in the Western World. She writes:

Photo from mcdonalds.com.hk

“The generation getting married today grew up doing their studying at McDonald’s,” Mr. Mathews said. “That was one of the chain’s prominent roles in the 1980s and 1990s — as a safe haven where students could study and stay off the streets.

“In the U.S. and other places, middle-class or upper-middle-class people look down on McDonald’s,” he said. “But Hong Kong is different. A McDonald’s wedding wouldn’t be seen as tacky here.”

– JOYCE HOR-CHUNG LAU, for the New York Times

They make a “cake” out of apple pies! Plus you can get a balloon dress – If I had the killer legs, I think it would be pretty fun to try and pull that off…

I mean, how freaking *interesting* is that??? In HongKong, MickyD’s is totally hip and retro.  I guess my equivalent would be getting married somewhere like the local roller skating rink (yes, I realize I’m dating myself here…) or maybe the summer camp where I went as a child (and I’ve seen several Glöbies who are doing just that.) So many happy memories in those places that I’d love to share with those I love most in the world.

A very good friend of mine once told me, “Nothing is weird, it’s just different.”  I’ve never forgotten that saying and it’s always in the back of my mind  – especially now that I see so much judgment in the wedding world.

A great example from my own experience is how “weird” my husband’s Italian family thought our wedding was going to be – particularly because we were married outdoors (instead of in a Catholic Church), that the reception took place in the evening (instead of a lunch), and that we had dancing after the dinner (very, VERY bizarre for them.) They also didn’t really understand the concept of “engaged”  – there is actually not a word for it in Italian. You’re either a girlfriend or a wife – nothing in between. The whole village thought we were totally bonkers, but in the end, my 87 year old Italian auntie closed down the dance floor with the rest of us.

I know that many of you are adding personal twists-on-tradition to your own weddings – stemming from your cultural background, your childhood, your hobbies and other cultural contexts. So what do you think? Are we all just “weird” or  is it simply a matter of being different?