Wedding Registry

When it comes to asking for money as a wedding gift, I’m betting even Dear Abby finds herself scratching her head and wondering what the most polite approach is. Of course, it’s something that every couple dreams of asking for; afterall, what could be better than the hassle-free reality that is cold, hard cash? But, why then, do so many newlyweds instead find themselves knee deep in wedding gifts that they’ll spend the first year of their married life returning?

The answer is obvious: asking for anything out-of-the-ordinary (especially money!) is a sensitive thing. When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we really truly didn’t need anything….except help with our home renovation.

We dreamed about creating a registry asking for money to pay for items like, “landscape lights” and “a kitchen sink.” But, we couldn’t figure out how to create that type of a registry in a tactful way and instead ended up registering for a handful of things at the usual places just for the sake of having a registry. And, of course, we were lavished with some really bizarre gifts that are now collecting dust in the “regift” pile in our basement.

Oh, if only we had known about Deposit a Gift. An easy and classy way to ask your friends and family to help you pay for things you really want or need. The approach is to be specific in what you’re going to do with the money people are gifting instead of just asking for it. On the Deposit a Gift website, you’re able to insert customized items – ranging from honeymoon extravagances to charity donations to (would have been helpful in my case) home renovation items. For example:

The gifter feels good about donating to the causes because they know exactly where their money is going, and that it’s what you truly want/need.

Here’s founder Dana Ostomel’s two-cents:

Everyone is asking what you want for your wedding and where you’re registered. If you prefer money towards specific goals and dreams, how do you communicate this in a polite and tactful way? You certainly don’t want to offend your guests, but you also don’t want them wasting their money on gifts you can’t use or will return.

A cash wedding registry is the perfect solution to create a gift list of exactly what you need! It’s attractive to you, but will it be appealing to guests? I say, it’s all in the positioning. As with any gift, givers want to feel good about it and connected to their choice. Here are a few tips for smooth sailing…

How To Create a Cash Wedding Registry Guests Will Love:

Choose a Narrative: This type of registry is an awesome opportunity to share with your guests what is important to you at this time in your life. What’s your story?

Everyone Likes Options: Admit it. When you give a gift, you want to give something that you like and feel connected to. The same is true for your guests. So create a registry with choices that will appeal to all kinds of people:

Gifts That Feel Like Gifts: If I’ve learned anything at all, it’s about the psychology of gift-giving. People want to give you something special that you’ll cherish and always remember them for.

Be Authentic: Don’t be afraid to really put your personality into it. The more your registry feels like a reflection of you, the more fun it will be for guests and the more likely they are to use this registry. So pop your favorite wine one night, curl up together and have some fun!

Be Gracious: Set the stage for your registry with a personal and gracious note at the top (something you can’t do with a department store gift list) to give context to your registry and why it will be so meaningful and memorable to you. Though gifts are not expected, they are common, and it never hurts to show a little advanced appreciation.

Here’s an example of what you could say:

Thank you so much for joining us and being a part of all the joy, love and festivities! Many of you have generously asked if there’s anything we’d like as we brave new worlds, and the truth is, we’ve got most everything we need when it comes to traditional household things. What would be most memorable for us you actually can’t register for at a regular store, so we’ve created this registry that is designed to let others make partial purchases to contribute towards those very adventures we’re embarking on: a honeymoon wine country road trip, some classes to continue learning about our love of wine and food and some weekend getaways to rejuvenate from our crazy work schedules!

If you feel so inclined to help make it happen, we would be most appreciative and look forward to sharing the memories and pictures with you. Of course, the best present is having you along to share our excitement. We can’t wait to celebrate with you and are so grateful to have you in our lives!

Much love, Jennifer and Tom

So there you have it, folks; a tactful way to ask for what you really want. Thanks for sharing, Dana!

I’d love to hear fun things you’ve asked for you in your registry or hope to ask for.

Dana Ostomel is the founder and Chief Gifting Officer of Deposit a Gift, a cash gift registry service. Years before Dana got married, she wondered how anyone could store so many presents – and even if they could, how they had time to unwrap, return (often), track and use them all. Her marketing background led her to believe she could simplify the registry process – and not just for weddings, but for any big gifting event. And so Deposit a Gift, the next generation gift registry, was born. Read more about Dana. Follow Deposit a Gift on Facebook and Twitter.